My head is kind of messy as I keep making the same mistake over and over. But I took a stand last night, not that I haven't before, but its a step. Baby steps are important. I made one. I also haven't heard anything feedback wise so I guess that makes it easier. I am so tired of fighting and trying to keep something when it's not even something I know I should keep.
There are aspects of it that I will miss but I know that there was manipulation happening there. Trying to make me feel small and bad about myself and I don't need that in my life any more. I just don't. If I can remove it, in all aspects of my life, I can grow as a person and become a stronger person. I never thought caring about people would lead to such hurt, but it does.
I keep writing about it. I keep trying to take a stand and I keep backing down. I need to stop backing down and keep strong. I know I have plans this weekend, and that helps. I also have started to enjoy the time I have to myself because I really haven't gotten very much since I have continually been booked for full days (can't complain, money is good).
Just want to see things for how they are in the daylight instead of snuggling up the comfort of the shadows in the night.
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