Tuesday, 18 October 2016

Everything Changes

I have always been a bit cynical and my life lately has not lent itself to changing that viewpoint of late. I have always thought romantic lines were kinda cheesy, always assumed I didn't need any romance, have not had that instant connection and recognition with anyone. Dating lately seemed pointless and men seemed ineffective, lazy and ADD.

When I first started writing my Warrior, I was not overly in to it. But we had good conversations and they weren't typical of most people on a dating site. Then last week I just was like, "what the hell, let's not waste time, let's meet." So I invited him over and we met. To be fair, I thought his picture was cute but he stated he was a gamer-and that is not something I am overly interested in getting involved with because of my ex husband. I had low or no expectations, I just wanted to change things, get out of the cycle I was in. Then he got out of the car and my life altered. I was instantly attracted, and when he spoke-his voice was incredibly sexy. "Giddy Up".

We spent the evening flirting, drinking a beer or two and watching one of my favorite shows. I think we could both tell that we were in to each other but neither of us could figure out how to break the touch gap. I could feel his attraction to me and I think he felt it back. At the door we both were awkward and admitted we didn't know what to do, and then both leaned in and kissed. It was a solid lip lock and hinted at a lot of potential to come.

He messaged me within thirty minutes of leaving and came over again on Sunday night when things really heated up, in a PG 13 way. To feel your feelings reflected back on you through someone elses eyes is a gift. To have chemistry and excitement and joy without any questioning or neurotic behavior is unreal. To respect and admire your partner and feel valued and wanted and overwhelmed is something that I have not experienced but I have those feelings with him and it was instantaneous. I feel blessed and tuned in and completely swamped with how an emotionally aware and open man can make me feel. No games, no invading, just follow through and a whole lot of feeling that makes all of the bumps and missteps worth it.

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