Thursday, 11 June 2015

The waiting Game

I hate to wait. Once my mind is made up, that's it for me. So waiting is hard. Right now, I am waiting on two things: my separation agreement and the answer to my letter for Disappeared's father.
My separation agreement isn't such a hard wait. I know it's coming along and should be signed by the middle of next week....couldn't happen fast enough. My ex continues to get over due notices and I want to untangle myself from him financially as fast as humanly possible. His physical presence in my house makes me furious. He does nothing to help and doesn't interns with E or X unless specifically asked, and even then he is on his phone. I will not miss him, and doubt he children will.

The letter is harder. I have sent mail to Disappeared at his dad's place before and nothing ever happened. Time has passed and this is addressed to his dad and is not asking for anything other than if he is happy or not....but there are many unknowns. I don't know if a Disappeared and his father talk, if his father still lives there full time or just vacations, when the letter will arrive.....if his father will get back to me or just write it off as crazy. There is a lot I don't know.

My cards tell me to trust and t believe and I am trying to. All I want is an answer, though I would be lying if a small part of me wasn't hoping for a reunion. It's more important to my process just to move forward, so just an answer would allow me to let it go.
Today marks seven business days since I sent the now it's an actual possibility. After all this time, knowing anything would feel like a gift.

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