Monday, 22 June 2015

Fighting History

We arrived safely. I had a lot of time to think on the way here. The kids did an amazing job and have been having a great time. They have enjoying splash parks, playgrounds and lots of attention. I had a rough day yesterday. The online dating has been discouraging and I am trying to remember not to take it personally. It sure feels as if the universe is trying to keep me hanging on to Disappeared. Which is a bad conclusion, but I sort of feel like if there is no exciting options out there I must be suppose to look backward.
 I was pretty bummed out yesterday, but today is better. I had fun with my kids at the park and I am so happy to be visiting my sister. Sometimes that can be an issue. My sister has it all-beautiful career, amazing house, lovely husband and it is hard not to see myself as a spectacular failure. I try not to be jealous, but she has often had things fall perfectly into place for her. All that is missing are children, and although it isn't happening exactly like she wants- I know that will be perfect too. She deserves it- she works hard and is a very giving person. I truly am happy for her- but I also would like that for the kids and me.....

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