Sunday, 10 April 2016

Releasing the Reins

Its almost been a year since I have been seperated. In that time I have made connections, launched my business, found my spirit and learned a lot about myself. I dated a man I knew wasn't right and am now standing on the threshold of a relationship that could be exactly what I need and ultimately what I have spent my life looking for-if I don't screw it up.
I have never really fallen in love. I have written about that before, and it's true. When I look at the times I was close, the same things happened- I was not in control and I didn't expect it. The not expecting meant controlling it was out of the question. I have control issues. Knowing this has led to some 'real talk' about the situation I am currently in. I am frustrated, paranoid and out of my depth. I am constantly battling trying to push or pull it along instead of letting it unfold organically. And why?  I don't know him, I may not even like him? But I hate feeling this uncertainty. So, I am going to take a breath and close my eyes and just stop trying to force things. Trusting that, if it's going to happen, it will.

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