Sunday, 1 November 2015

The Long Goodbye

Almost two weeks ago I told Irish that we were on a deadline. I do not want to be his pillowy landing for the exit of his relationship, or his partner in cheating, or his rebound. I want my partner to choose me, not just someone. I don't need the negative karma. So two weeks of chatting to get reacquainted and test if there was still something there seemed reasonable.
Long story short, there is something there.
So I have to walk away, knowing that there is something real. It's brutal, but it's necessary. If he is really supposed to be mine, he will find me. However, he isn't ready and I can't be a penpal in hopes he will eventually be mine. I need more.
If I walk now, I won't carry negativity into things if he comes back. If I don't, I will always know I contributed to the end of a relationship, that I helped him be dishonest, and might not ever trust him. That's no way to be.
So, the moral high ground might be rocky, but it's right....and hopefully will lead to happiness.

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