Sunday, 27 September 2015

Hiccups and Heartaches

Nothing is perfect. It's good, because it keeps us interesting. I know this and I am not looking for perfect, just perfect for me. On paper, Builder Boy fits the bill.....but recently four things have come up that made me go from falling to paused- two are little, two....not so much.
1. He doesn't ever ask how I am, or how things went for me. He responds well when I tell him, but he doesn't ask.
2. He rarely compliments's not a big deal but if I send a picture and there is no comment.....kinda rude.
3. He lied or mistyped...and I don't know if it's how I interpreted it or an actual lie. He said he didn't have or or didn't use Facebook......but he does.....I would ask him....but......
4. He disappears on weekends....completely. He doesn't return texts, he is MIA. He has never said anything about this but it's more often than not and he never explains...but I have never asked. If he comes back, I will ask.

Do these four things add up to distruction of what we have built? No. But they do put a big flashing caution sign on it, no matter how you look at it. I want to love like I have never been hurt and fall into something deep and beautiful, but that doesn't mean being an idiot. Trust and feeling secure are my two issues and because I am trusting the new person with the lives of my children, it needs to be rock solid from the beginning.
If he evades or his answers stink, I gotta cut him loose. It's going to hurt cause it was two months of discovering someone's mind and heart, but i can't build something else on a foundation of sand.

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