Sunday, 20 September 2015

At Arms Length

When I split with my ex, I wrote a list. A list of qualities and fundamentals I needed from a partner. When I had a few disasterous online dating experiences, I quit and lost myself in books instead. There I found the men, however unrealistic, that I longed for. One novel particularly hit home, so much so that I wrote to the author to thank her for giving me hope.
Then I met Builder Boy-builder man really. Well not met, was in contact in contact with....I wrote about him last time I blogged.
He fits the list, he mirrors the book in an eerie kind of perfect way and he gets me. Somebody told me he wAs just an ordinary looking dude....he might be....but he does it for me physically, emotionally and intellectually and he does it big time.
We have a date picked out, it's a month away....but that's okay. My head needs some time. This should not be happening now, I shouldn't be feeling so much for a stranger. But he tugs at me. How many guys can quote Land Before Time? How many can keep a girl with a busy brain interested for weeks of conversation.
I want to fall for him. I want us to meet and have that moment when two souls recognize what's going on. The click, the dive, the racing hearts and raging hormones. I want that with him. I want to protect him and have him want to protect me. And I worry. He says little to me about how he feels. He rarely compliments me and rarely messages me first. Boy thing? Maybe. Or could he be just using me for ego boosting,....maybe.
I am edgy. When someone hands you what you have always wanted it's hard to believe they are not going to snatch if away again,

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